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I remember this place well...

Yes, I remember that I have a blog. Over the past year and a half or so since i last visited this blog many things have happened that i won't recap. I have moved several time, had a child, fought with ppl, made up with ppl, found a job I love, lost friends, made friends, and lots of other stuff along the way. I am a stronger person now. I will continue to get even stronger. I must say, I am at a place in life where I am happy more than i am sad. I have ppl in my life that really do love me alot, and that is very helpful. I have also realized that I can do things for myself, and i can also ask for help when i need it. These are big things for me...

music....

so when my van disappeared (long story that isn't going to be discussed here) all my favorite cds were in it. so now all my favorite music (or at least most of it) is gone. so the music i did still have was mostly stuff i didn't listen to anymore, cds i've had since high school and have just kept for sentimintal reasons. so on the long drive to and from MS i got reacquainted with the old cds and realized why i really like them. old music is good. i still miss my other music, but it is fun to hear the stuff i loved in high school and the few years that followed...

It's been a good weekend, and now the hard part starts. The part where i have to say good bye again. After getting here thursday night and talking to a couple people i elected to stay til monday morning so i could go to The Journey tonight. I think it was a wise decision for many reasons, but i think it will make me very sad again. good thing it is just this week and not every time i come back. not sure i could handle that.
the Cynco De Mayo party was a blast. brad and sage and mel know how to throw a party! glad i could be back for it.
what does this week hold... finding a job! wish me lots of luck.

unpacking is worse than packing in this case. i am a little bit obsessive about unpacking anyway, it all has to be done right away, i have this need to know where my things are. but unpacking feels so damn permanent. i'm still exhausted, and very sad. i know that the day after tomorrow i will be going back for the weekend, but that isn't seeming to help. i just feel really icky. then after this weekend i really have to bust my butt. i can't be here long at all or i might go crazy....

i wanna go home....

just so ya know, I moved to TX today.... I wanna go home... this isn't home.... I know i'll be back for the weekend, but it isn't the same... there are alot of fears that i have about all of this... that will come later. now i am just exhausted

been a while...

and there are various reasons for that, but today i am near a computer with access to the net, so here i am. today has already been long and it isn't quite lunch time yet. i have cried a couple of times.... i have been almost driven crazy by 3 small ppl... and i am just tired....
it's weird that i remember exactly what i was doing at this time, on this day, one year ago. It is also weird that it wasn't much different from what i am doing today... lol it's weird, life is crazy, and i want to just have a normal, stable life for a while. doesn't look like I am gonna get that though....