trying to process all the things that have been said today is going to take a while... being in the gutter, what does it mean, and do I have to do it all the time... who do you minister to kids that you don't know and won't see agian.. would I have done anything if I were in the south tower in Dallas??? I doubt it... alot of crap happened to me in Dallas, and I was very self-absorbed... Even if it looked like I was serving everyone else, I was doing it for me... But even if I wasn't so wrapped up in me I probally wouldn't have done anything... I wouldn't have thought that I could have made a difference... I need to work on that... I can't make a difference but God can... there are alot of times that God used one person to make a difference.... I really should be more aware of the oppertunities that God gives me... I didn't know all the things that happened in Dallas, and I am not going to beat myself up for not doing anything, but I am going to try to be more observant of what is going on around me... I do want to make a difference... I don't know what all this is going to look like, but I know that it isn't going to look like what the rest of the world is doing... it isn't going to look like running away from sinners because I am afraid or uncomfortable... God never said that folloeing him was going to be easy or comfortable... I think that things will look different, but how....
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