I thought I should break my blogging absence. so here I am. I am not in a good place right now. I am hurt, alone, weak, tired, and don't know what to do. I don't know what the next few weeks are gonna look like, but I have a feeling they won't be pretty. I want to be better, but I am afaid of what it is going to cost. I feel like I am trapped and the only way(s) out will turn out bad. maybe being trapped isn't such a bad thing? but I know in reality it is....