Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Am I invisible?

I feel like I am invisible. I feel like no one knows I am here. the boys have been here for a few days now, and it seems like I have stopped exsisting around here. And it isn't because I haven't tried to spend time with my husband. I really want to spend time with him, but when he is home the boys are hear and he doesn't seem to know I am alive anymore. He cooked supper tonight. I went for a drive right as he was starting it. I got home and it all smelled to good, but didn't look done yet so I went to lay down. when I came back out to the kitchen I asked if they had eaten already and he said yes. then I asked if there was anything left and he said no. so I guess it doesn't matter that I haven't eaten anything and I have to work tonight. none of that matters. all that matters is that he has fun. it doesn't matter that I want to feel loved, or that I need him. all that matters is that he is happy. it doesn't matter how much I hate this situation, or the fact that I never see my husband. oh well, I "only" have to do it until Sept, not for a whole year. unfortunatly I am already burnt out and hurting, and I don't know if I can take this for another couple of months even.....

1 comment:

manofredearth said...

blargh, I'm sorry you're in that situation! I added your blog to my bloglines account so now I can automatically see when you update your bloggy blog.

Not that this helps, I guess... :P