Hurt....

I guess I just didn't realize how hurt I was by it all until tonight. all the things that have gone on in the past 5 or so months. They took away the one thing I loved most. It is getting better now. At first I couldn't even go into a church without being angry; mostly I was angry at church in general, and God for allowing it to happen the way it did. That was where I found a huge part of myself. We sacrificed so much to be here, and just because we didn't fit thier mold we weren't listened to or takend seriously. that wasn't just our church that was a huge part of our lives. it hurts alot, even more-so now that we are getting into another church. it is tough. I am afraid of it all happening again. I still need time. I can't just pour my entire life into this so quickly. I think this is a good place for the healing to start though. and there are other things that I am working on, things that are going to allow me to get away from everything to think it all over. something where I can just sit at the feet of God for a little while and let Him pour out His love on me. that is what I need right now. it is all going to be a long hard process, but I am sure that eventually it will hurt less.