I'm sure things aren't like I see them, but the way I see them is all I have right now. ppl want to know what they can do to be helpful, I tell them, and then the avoid me. yeah that's not so helpful. I think my circle of friends is in desperate need of some trimming. I think there are just too many ppl to keep up to date on my life. that takes too much energy most days, especially when I know that those ppl aren't going to be around for the long haul anyway. they will get tired, or bored, and find something else to do with their time. I'm tired oflosing friends because my life is too difficult for them to deal with. and I am tired of hearing "well, if they were real friends it wouldn't matter how hard things are" that's a lie. if I could I wouldn't be around me right now either. I understand the 'why' of ppl not being able to handle it, but that doesn't make it feel any better.