It's pretty amazing how insecurities and low self-esteem can creep up on you and smack you in the face, leaving you laying in the ground hurt and alone. tonight is one of those times. I feel like she would have done anything to not have to sit there with me. I know that in reality this isn't true, but in my mind it is. in my mind no one wants to be around me. no one cares. part of me knows this isn't true (or at least that ppl will say it isn't) but right now it feels true. I just don't want to feel so unloved anymore. and I don't want to feel like everyone really has some secret agenda. i know she loves me, but then there is that part of me that feels like if she knew what I really thought and do she would not be my friend, she wouldn't even like me. I know she says /i'm wrong, but i can't bring myself to talk about it. maybe it is because admitting it might make me the crazy one