Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I am depressed. I feel so... I don't even know. I don't know what to do. I want to be a good wife and mom, but I feel like I have failed. and I want to be who ppl think I am, but I can't. I guess I am just at one of those points right now. I am so mad at some of the stupid decisions I have made. I am mad that it took me 23 yrs to figure out what I am supposed to be doing, and I am mad that I can't do it. I hate that I am at this place again. I feel so helpless. and I hate that it is all my fault that I am here. I look back and I see that my whole life has pointed me to what I was made to do, but I was just to stupid to realize it. now I feel like it is to late. and now I feel like I have to settle for less than that because of the choices I have made.

escaping reality sounds real nice about right now.....

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