what the crap is going on....

sorry if this makes no sense to you guys just need to vent without saying too much....


I feel like shit... I don't remember alot of things that happened... what is going on with me? I woke up this morning and didn't know how I got into bed... last thing I remember was sitting here being online at like 11pm... then I woke up in bed... there were other strange things but I will leave out those details for now... I know it is all my fault... but why do I get like this... I just wish he would have stayed up so I could tell him what happened, but instead he got all mad and was in bed before I got home, which caused me to freak out and pretty much lose my mind for a while.... someone told me earlier that maybe I should think of doing some inpatient treatment somewhere... What the crap? I couldn't do that I have kids that need to be taken care of and a house that would never get clean... who cares if I am crazy anyways.... so that is what happened (kinda)

also mom did buy us a couch today but since it is raining we will not be picking it up until the weekend... that what I won't have to try to carry the thing inside by myself... or maybe I will have to do that anyway, but that is another story...

so what am I going to do? probably the same thing I always do, agonize over what to do until eventually I feel better and I don't think I need to do anything until this happens again...