Thursday, February 24, 2005

WHY

why do I feel like everyone is better than me... they are all prettier, stronger, and happier (yes can you believe that there are ppl happier than me?) I feel very apathetic today... really don't care about much of anything... I just want to disapear, not die, just stop exsisting... the more I think about things the less I care... maybe it is because I don't know if there is a need to care, being that I don't know how much longer I am going to be here... maybe it is my minds way of preparing me to leave all that I have cared about for so long... maybe my mind has just simple gone on strike until we move and get settle and then it will start allowing me to care again and get attached to new ppl... who knows....

I may go to the zoo tomorrow with Debra, squishy, and debra's family that is in from Nashville... I really don't know if I want to go but I do want to spend time with debra before she leaves... just the thought of meeting new ppl is yucky... not that I think her family is ctazy or anything, just that I don't feel like meeting anyone new right now...

It doesn't seem like anything is going on this weekend.. roo will be sewing for the war, and well, who else do I hang out with... maybe I will catch up with B&C or maybe I will just spend some time alone... I need it after this week... BLAH....

I have watched ND 5 times since sunday... it is a great movie and it never gets old.... "You're just jealous because I have been chatting online with hot babes all day" yeah....

well, mom is off tomorrow, so maybe we will do something with her... who knows... I really want to take the girls to see the Heffelump movie... but I doubt that will happen... maybe I should do something productive.... I did dishes today, that was mildly productive....

1 comment:

roo roo said...

i think you should go to the zoo with debra and her family. it would be fun for the girls and i think you should spend all the time with debra that you can!! just take lots of pictures cuz it will make me sad that i cannot be there.