It has come to my attention

so it has come to my attention that some ppl want to know WHY on earth I am not just going to leave RTPC and go somewhere else (or no where else but that is really a whole different issue all together) well it is simple really... God has made it clear that it is not time to move on yet... okay so maybe it isn't that clear to some of you... I don't really understand it either... but for some reason God wants me at RTPC still... over the past few months I have become increasingly uncomfortable at RTPC, and anywhere I go is more comfortable than there... so most ppl would take this as a sign to leave but not me... the fact that I am so uncomfortable there is why I stay... see if I were comfortable I would lose my focus... my focus isn't me, I don't go to church because it is about me.... it is about worshiping God.... with the level of discomfort I am forced to focus on God, not the music, or the ppl, but GOD!!! He is the reason I am there... some weeks worship looks nothing like a normal Sunday service... there was one week where I sat in the back room with a pen a nd a peice of paper and just wrote a letter to God... that was one of the most meaningful things I have done in a long time as worship, and it was all because I was uncomfortable... so I can't see the bigger picture right now.... I don't know why God wants me to continue staying at RTPC... but until I feel that HE wants me to leave I will be there... I don't hate it there... and I am becoming rather accustom to just being there for God and not everyone else...

oh and my thoughts on the circle thing... some weeks I really like it because I can see everyone... other weeks I really hate it because I realize everyone can see me... it makes things seem a little more transparent... the circle was NOT my idea, and I really have little control over it.... sorry if you don't like it.... I personally think we should all sit on the floor... but that is just me...